How It Should Be
by Sailor Grape
Summary: I knew this day would come eventually. To be quite honest, I am surprised it hadn’t happened before now. But time can be a fickle thing when you don’t know how much you have left.' He was gone. And he was never coming back.
1. Gone

So this is my first attempt in the Twilight ficdom. If it shows, well, there's a reason for it! But after reading so many awesome fics on here, I have decided to give it a go. Please don't flog me.

Disclaimer: Me no own.

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Chapter 1: Gone

I knew this day would come eventually. To be quite honest, I am surprised it hadn't happened before now. But time can be a fickle thing when you don't know how much you have left.

And so I prepared to leave for the next phase in my life, years too early and years too late. I didn't know at the time what I would be walking into. Perhaps I would have rethought my choices, weighed my options. As it was, I could only think of one obvious course of action.

That is how I found myself heading back toward the small town of Forks.

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It was cloudy, dreary, and rainy. A typical day in the small town. Not that I minded. I preferred the cold, wet weather over anything else, feeling it seep into me like a security blanket. It felt…comforting. Normal. I was glad some things never change. Other things, however…

With a heavy sigh, I drove further into the small town. It would take no time at all to reach my destination. Then again, it didn't take long to reach _anywhere_. There really wasn't a lot of town. But as I passed by familiar landmarks, I felt my chest tightening. When was the last time I was here? Had it really been five years?

This thought made the guilt and dread increase tenfold. Would everyone be angry about my return? Would they tell me to go away? Was I even strong enough to deal with this?

As if hearing my unasked questions, a strong hand reached over and squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "I am right here, Bella," he murmured tenderly. "And I'm not going anywhere."

The simple heartfelt gesture was almost enough to reduce me to a breakdown. He of all people knew how difficult this was going to be. The only thing keeping me going at this point was the fact that I wasn't alone. "Thanks," I whispered, squeezing his hand briefly before pulling into the familiar driveway.

Turning off the engine, I willed my breathing to even out before I slowly climbed out of the car. He was by my side in a second, one arm around my shoulders in reassurance. I allowed him to lead me to the front door, my steps automatic. I was scared. I knew exactly what would await me on the other side of the door; it would be as if nothing had changed. A step back in time,. A preserved memory.

"Here goes nothing," I mumbled, unlocking the door and stepping inside.

I was shocked as I was hit with…nothing. No sounds, no smells; it was almost…sterile. All of the nothingness washed over me like a tidal wave as I collapsed to my knees and my composure crumbled. "He's gone!" I cried, my entire body numb.

Strong arms cradled me to an equally strong chest as my body trembled uncontrollably. "It'll be ok, Bella, I promise," he said, but the words sounded empty, hollow, as his voice was as broken as mine.

"He's gone," I repeated. Being here made it real. It was no longer just a nightmare. From across the continent I still had the luxury of allowing myself a faint glimmer of hope that the news was wrong. But it wasn't. He was gone.

And he was never coming back.

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So is anyone wondering just exactly what is going on here? I'd love to hear your theories... Cookies to anyone who caught the BtVS reference. Stay tuned for more!


	2. Rest

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter. Sorry it took so long to update. Real life kinda sucks sometimes… Anyway, here it is, chapter 2! Read on and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Me no own.

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Chapter 2: Rest

That was my last breakdown, I swore to myself hours later. Because the hardest part wasn't even coming home. It was…

The funeral. I didn't even want to think about it, but it would be early the next morning so the sooner I accepted the fact, the better off I would be.

Concentrating on the task at hand, I pulled box after box from the closet and handed them off until all the boxes were sitting on the floor. We each dove in, attempting to sort out the contents of each one.

After a while we had stacks of sports magazines, old bills, clothes that should never have seen the light of day (and thankfully didn't, at least not while I was present), and so much odd-and-end _junk_ that it was almost overwhelming. But we plowed through the mess into the night, effectively clearing out the entire closet and chest of drawers. I guess I never really knew what a packrat he was. By the time we were finished, there were several bags to be taken to the trash. I was glad for the distraction. It helped me from completely breaking down, which I knew I was fully capable of.

For most of the day it went on like this, sorting through his personal effects, trying not to burst into hysterics when something sparked a good memory. I have never been an emotional person, so being in such a fragile state was really throwing me off. I was so grateful I wasn't alone on this journey. But I knew even if I insisted on coming by myself, which I wouldn't have done, he would have adamantly refused. He was my strength, and I could never survive without him.

Glancing over, I saw him yawn for the umpteenth time as he tried unsuccessfully to stifle it. I affectionately poked him in the side. "Why don't you go get some sleep?" I suggested. "It's been a long day."

"I'm fine. Am not tired at all." His statement was punctuated by a loud yawn.

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" He only shrugged. "Look, it's fine. Go. I can handle this."

"If I am calling it quits for the night, then so are you." He crossed his arms over his chest, daring me to challenge his stubbornness.

I sighed, knowing it was a lost cause. I could never win against him these days. Or ever, really. He always seemed to know my best interests, even when I didn't know them myself. I suppose there really was no point in arguing. "Fine," I relented grudgingly. I couldn't help but crack a smile at his triumphant whoop.

"I knew you would cave," he said smugly. "Now come on; let's get away from the memories for a little while." He motioned for me to follow him across the hall.

I hesitated, lingering in the doorway as he made himself at home, flopping down on the bed like he had so many times before. It was like we were transported back in time, when everything was good, before things…changed. Immediately I cut myself off from going down that path, told myself to shut my brain off. And when he held out his arms to me, I gratefully strode across the room and sank into them. The searing, familiar heat of his body gave me comfort like only he could.

One hand reached up to lovingly stroke my hair. "Just rest, Bells," he murmured sleepily, squeezing me gently to him. "I'm here. I'll always be here."

"Thank you," I whispered, not sure he even heard. After a while I heard his breaths even out, felt his chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm. I couldn't sleep. I was anxious about the morning, with good reason. Could I handle saying goodbye? I never considered myself having abandonment issues, but all that changed ten years ago. Of course, I had grown much stronger since then. Plus I wasn't alone. I had my light. My sun.

My Jake.

As if sensing my thoughts, Jacob mumbled in his sleep and pulled me closer. I chuckled soundlessly at his unconscious actions. Even in his sleep he was taking care of me. It was like having my own personal superhero.

With a contented sigh, I settled down to wait out the night.

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Yesyesyes, I am fully aware that these first two chapters have been kinda short…and kinda lacking the action… But! The next chapter is where the fun begins. I'll also reveal a little timeline info so you won't be so confused. So… thanks for reading, and I'll cya next chapter!


	3. Meet

Here's a happy thought. This chapter is almost as big as the last two chapters combined. Enjoy!!

Disclaimer: Me no own.

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Chapter 3: Meet

"I really don't want to do this," I started, my steps halting. Dread coursed through me like it never had before. What if I couldn't handle it? What if I broke down into hysterics, or passed out? Ridiculous, I chided myself. But still I moved no further into the tiny church.

Jacob ran a handle soothingly down my back. "I know you don't want to, but you need to do this. For yourself and…for Charlie." He choked on my father's name; Jake had, after all, been like the son Charlie never had. He was the only one that could understand what I was going through at this moment.

"Ok, here goes." I sucked in a deep breath and slowly started down the aisle.

"I'll be right here." Jacob promised, settling into a pew at the back. I was grateful he wanted to give me some privacy but was still nearby.

The funeral had ended an hour earlier. I wouldn't--_couldn't_--go, not with all those people. I never was one to deal with my own emotions, choosing to shut down and close them off into a tightly sealed compartment. I definitely couldn't handle everyone else's grief.

The closer I got to his casket, the stronger I felt the pull to run in the opposite direction. But I knew I had to do this. There have been so many situations in my life where I never got closure. The least I could do was grant myself one last sliver of peace.

The first thing I noticed was the makeup. I know it was supposed to make him look natural, like he was sleeping or something, but to me it looked exactly like what it was: the now ex-police chief wearing makeup. I felt a giggle of absurdity try to escape my lips and I quickly pushed it back. I didn't want Jake to think I had completely lost it, after all.

But the more I thought about it, the more hilarious I found it. It reminded me of a time when I was much younger and was visiting for the summer. I had wanted to play tea party and demanded Charlie join me. I had also insisted on dressing him for the occasion. So he had very patiently allowed me to cover his face in my play makeup and put a frilly hat on his head. It was one of my happiest childhood memories.

Now I wouldn't be able to make any more memories with my dad. I was being deprived of my family. He was being deprived of his life. It was such a freak thing, dieing of a heart attack at his age. He kept physically fit--had to because of his job. But he also ate out pretty much every day. And I know he didn't order salads.

Waves of guilt began to thrum around me. I used to cook for him, made sure he had some kind of balanced meal. But it had been ten years since I moved away. He had nobody to nag him like I used to. Not that he ever listened to me. I think it was both of our biggest character flaw.

Tentatively I reached a hand up, intending to cover his own, which were clasped together across his midsection. But I couldn't do it. His hands had always been rough, callous--worker's hands. Now his nails were trimmed short, clean, his hands looking almost--delicate. I retracted my own quickly, turning away from the casket.

I couldn't look at him anymore. This is not how I wanted to remember Charlie. I wanted to forever picture him at his happiest, sitting on the couch eating pizza and watching some sports game with Billy Black, laughing and drinking and shouting at the screen. Or the last time I came to visit, when stoic Charlie Swan had raced down the sidewalk in greeting and hugged me tightly, then did the same to Jake. He was so happy, so full of life…

I went to take a step toward Jake to ask him to get me out of here, but he was already on his feet, growling toward the closed door off to his left. I was about to say something when it hit me too. It had appeared out of nowhere, this scent.

Vampires.

"Bella, stay over there," Jacob hissed, backing up toward me, his eyes never leaving the door. I wasn't about to argue with him. I wanted to point out that if there was a need for him to shift, perhaps we should leave the church, but I couldn't find my voice.

We both tensed as the rusty doorknob creaked, watching it slowly turn until it began to inch open. I steadied myself in case actions were needed.

As the person stepped out of the glare of the light and into the church, I couldn't help but gasp. "Emmett?" I cried.

At the end of the church Emmett Cullen stood gaping at me. He wasn't alone. The entire Cullen clan stood behind him, save one.

"Bella?" Alice gasped, her delicate hand covering her perfect mouth. She looked like she had seen a ghost. In fact, they all did.

"Umm…what's wrong?" I asked dumbly, like it was completely normal to see my adopted vampire family that had abandoned me ten years ago show up at my father's funeral.

"We thought you were dead," Jasper answered hoarsely when nobody spoke up.

"And apparently we were right," Rosalie said darkly.

"Yeah, about that…" I started.

"You don't owe these bloodsuckers an explanation, Bells," Jacob interrupted, pulling me to his side protectively.

It was almost comical the way he felt the need to protect me from the Cullens. Then again, I guess I understood since the last time I saw them was when…Edward…decided to leave me, and I fell into a state of walking catatonia. "Jake, it's ok," I answered softly, resting a hand on his arm. There really was nothing to worry about. I would be able to handle it. I scanned the group again, just to make sure I wasn't missing him.

"He's not here," Esme said quietly as if she guessed what I was looking for. Her voice echoed motherly concern and regret. "He has been traveling ever since…well. We hear from him on occasion though." Pain was evident in her expression.

I tried not to dwell too much on the fact that just the mention of his person set aflight butterflies in my stomach. It may have been ten years, but it had been a _rough_ ten years.

My discomfort must have shown on my face because Carlisle thankfully changed the subject. "We were all very sorry to hear about your father, Bella," he said. "It is actually the reason we came back."

And once again I was reminded of the reality of the situation. "Of course. That was our reason for returning as well. Come on, Jake, let's give them time to pay their respects." I tugged on his arm, and he reluctantly allowed me to pull him along. "Thank you for coming to the funeral," I told them. "You should come by my house in a little while, as I am sure we all have stories the other would like to hear."

I didn't give them a chance to reply, just darted past with Jacob in tow.

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So by now I have raised more questions and have answered few… I was originally gonna continue this chapter and provide info on Bella's missing ten years, but it just didn't turn out that way. But yay, the Cullens are back! Ok, so no Edward yet. It might be a little while before we see him too. But not too long, cause I love him to pieces! Anyway, thanks for reading. Until next chapter, then. Peace out!


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